Choosing Love in Difficult Situations

I wish it was easy for me to choose love in every life situation. It’s not. Sometimes I want to avoid a difficult conversation or pretend I don’t get scared when I hear disturbing news. Even with a consistent spiritual practice, I can still get triggered by a harsh comment, chaotic world event or when faced with a difficult decision.

After practicing degrees of avoidance, dodging, pretending and the occasional “forgetting” for decades, I’ve remembered the truth. All these tactics are simply an ego dance that keep me feeling constrained, stressed, uncomfortable and in conflict.

The truth is equally simple.

Every time I go within and ask Love for guidance on a specific issue or ask for help to react from love instead of fear, something miraculous happens.

There’s a shift.

Sometimes subtle, sometimes more pronounced but a definite shift to a feeling of peace. The shift is physical, mental, and emotional. My shoulders relax, the knot in my stomach dissipates, the fog of uncertainty lifts and I feel calmer and more confident. It doesn’t mean that I’m totally happy with an unpleasant task at hand, but I feel more at peace about the process and how to lovingly take any action needed. The more aligned I feel with Love, the happier I am. (My husband tells me this is more pleasant for him as well.)

So how do you choose love when facing a difficult situation? Here are a few quick ideas:

• Meditate: Sit quietly with your eyes shut, take a few slow and steady breaths, put your hand on your heart, relax and in the sacred space of your own heart ask, “Love, what do you want me to know about this situation?” Be open and trust you’ll receive the guidance you need at the perfect time. Listen and notice what images maybe coming to you. Notice any physical feelings in your body.
• Journal: Take a few minutes to factually write about the difficult situation in your journal. Stop. Take a few deep breaths, connect to your heart, and write the question mentioned above, or a similar one: “Love, what do you want me to know about this situation?” Without thinking, keep writing letting words flow through you onto the page. This gets easier with practice! When answers come, continue to ask questions if you need clarification. “What’s is the most loving thing I can do right now?” for example.
• Ask: When I’m facing a challenge, one of my favorite tools is to get quiet and ask, “What does Love look like here? Love for myself and love for everyone involved. How does Love move me forward?”
• Use the Be Love Principles: One of my dear clients says she “takes it to the Principles” when she’s facing an uncomfortable situation or challenge. I agree! The Be Love Principles are a set of four statements that can be used separately or together as a process to shift from a constricted ego perspective to a more expanded divine one. Learn all about the Be Love Principles then try this meditation to work through any issue.
• Read: If you want a little more help, read the book I wrote after the death of my dad “How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody.”

It's easy to forget to choose love in difficult situations. We all do it at times. Now we can remember it’s even easier to consciously ask Love for guidance.